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Showing posts with label Mrs. Elton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mrs. Elton. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 29

Juliet Stevenson: Jane Austen Reader

Of seven Naxos audio books in my possession, five are read by Juliet Stevenson, the actress who so brilliantly portrayed Mrs. Elton in 1996’s Emma and whose comical performance as Keira Knightley’s cleavage loving mother in Bend it Like Beckham is my favorite character in the film.

Juliet’s vocal readings of Emma, Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park, Persuasion, and Sense and Sensibility are outstanding. You can hear an 8-minute interview with her about the process at this link:
http://www.audiobooksonline.com/audio/Juliet_Stevenson_interview_Naxos_Audiobooks.mp3

or click here to download the interview to your cell phone: http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=2463503&song=Emma+Interview+Juliet+Stevenson

In the interview, she mentions that her favorite Jane Austen novel is Sense and Sensibility and her least favorite is Pride and Prejudice (read by Emilia Fox, the actress who played Georgianna Darcy in the 1995 film adaptation of P&P). Juliet also enjoyed reading Emma, which she describes as delicious. “The structure is miraculous,” she adds. “[Emma’s] snobbery is completely unforgivable, but miraculously you are on her side.”

A Voice Crafter’s article describes the characteristics of a good audio book reader: A vocal talent suitable for reading a novel has to be able to hold people's attention for long periods of time—hours and hours if need be. They must be able to use their voices to create a certain ambience, to make narration sound different from dialogs, and slightly distinguish between characters without sounding silly, unless, of course, they need to sound silly. They have to have the sort of voice that is not grating, yet not so soothing that it puts people to sleep. They should be able to evoke feelings of warmth, or of anger, or fear. Whatever is appropriate in the course of the tale, or radio drama podcast.

Narrating lengthy text requires excellent story telling ability. Juliet Stevenson has it, as does David Rintoul, who played Mr. Darcy in the 1980 BBC film adaptation. Two of my favorite readers are Maria Burton, Richard Burton’s daughter from his first marriage, and Campbell Scott, the son of George C. Scott and Colleen Dewhurst. A voice talent must be able to perform a variety of roles and use contrasting voices or personality traits to make each character come to life. Reading audio books also requires vocal stamina. A good reader can read up to 10 pages per hour. While short books can be taped in only a few hours, a long book might take weeks to complete. A narrator might work for two to three hours at a time, taking a break every hour or so. Reading speed depends on the narrator, but an average is one and a half to two and a half minutes to record a page or about 40 pages every 90 minutes. A beginning reader might make $40 per finished hour and the best readers can make as much as $300 per hour. - There's Money Where Your Mouth Is, Elaine Clark, p 58

In her interview Juliet reveals why she likes reading for audio book: “You can play anything – an old man, a girl of seventeen. It is really liberating but it is also difficult.” Being able to take liberties with characterizations also attracts her to the medium. In order to be an effective reader she must know the heart and soul of the book, an experience Juliet found enriching.
  • Naxos has also been featuring audio books of Charles Dickens novels, including Little Dorrit. Click here.
  • You can listen to audio readings of Jane's novels at Librivox. While these recordings are free, the vocal readings are generally amateurish. There are some exceptions, Karen Savage is an outstanding example, but generally the quality of the reader is not guaranteed at this volunteer reader site.

Friday, August 1

Mrs. Elton Sez: Did Over Anxious Wife Drive Husband to Road Rage?


Dear Mrs. Elton,

I have been happily married to my Edmund for several years now. He is the rector of our parish and we have two dear children, Thomas age seven and Maria age five. They are good children and look up to their father in all things. My life with my family is indeed tranquillity and comfort because of my dear husband’s consideration and patience with his wife and children. He is above all men in all things but one dear lady, which I will attempt to explain, though I feel quite reticent to reveal. His driving of our carriage is quite erratic and worrisome. When he takes up the reins, and commands of our gig, he becomes quite a different man, loosing his temper with other drivers along our narrow country roads, shouting at Mr. Barker to remove his herd of sheep from our path, and knocking poor Rebecca in a ditch soiling her frock and giving her such a fright that it took a week before she could return to her duties at the great house.

I am hesitant to speak to him about such matters, as he is my dear husband, and I owe so much of my happiness to his love and support. I alone could abide such discomfort and anguish, but for our children’s sake, I must speak up. To see their distress and hear their cries of fear for their lives takes years off my life every time we travel by carriage. I have prayed much on this matter without any sign for guidance. I know not what to do Mrs. Elton and entreat you for a solution to end our torment.

Respectfully Yours,

Mrs. Fanny Bertram


Mrs. Elton's Reply

My dear Mrs. Edmund Bertram,

Reputation has preceded you, and I am familiar with your character, from the phantasy the authoress Miss Jane Austen wrote that was (report has it) based upon your life. Consequently I am similarly acquainted with the character of your husband, Mr. Edmund Bertram; and even were I not a devotee of all the works of Miss Jane Austen, your husband, as a respectable clergyman, would yet be known to me. If I am not mistaken, my dear caro sposo, Mr. Elton, kept similar terms with him at Oxford, and more recently associated with him again at a convocation they both attended in Northhamptonshire, September last.

I am on solid ground therefore in my knowledge of Mr. Edmund Bertram by character and reputation, and it is categorically inconceivable that this sterling gentleman could possibly be guilty of any such rash behavior or impropriety as either driving a carriage erratically, or losing his temper. Did he ever lose his temper once, during the entire course of Miss Jane Austen's narrative? His temper was infinitely tried on many occasions, by his Aunt Norris's meannesses, his brother's foolish peccadillos, his sister's crimes, and his beloved Mary's - but perhaps on that last point I had best be silent. In short, Mr. Edmund Bertram is the most phlegmatic and even-tempered of men, and it is not possible to believe evidence to the contrary. Therefore I must conclude it is much likelier that your own neurasthenic anxieties, evident on nearly every page of that exquisite effusion Mansfield Park, have grown out of all proportion, perhaps as a result of your own increasing age, the stresses of childbirth and motherhood, and responsibilities that may have proved to be too much for such a fragile young woman as yourself.

Mrs. Bertram, I must warn you that such tendencies as over-anxiety and wild exaggeration of circumstances, are very dangerous, and must of all things be controulled. You must not allow yourself to become prey to these weaknesses, for the next thing that happens, is that you will be given over to nagging; and that is fatal in marriage, where your duty is submission to your husband above all things. If you continue to find fault where none exists, and stir up your children to cry and demonstrate bad behavior in the presence of their father, you will be very gravely at fault. Perhaps, indeed, you are already guilty of being what is expressively called a Nag, and that is what is driving poor Mr. Edmund Bertram to drive his carriage more heatedly than he ought.

I first suspected something was wrong with your thinking when I noticed that you have named your daughter Maria. Heaven and earth, madam, of what can you be thinking! Is that not a shameful name and memory that ought to be erased from your family for ever? The naming may have been done in honour of your mother-in-law, not your disgraced cousin, I will allow; but it my opinion it was very ill thought of, in any case. I can see that Mr. Edmund Bertram has much to bear with, and so I adjure you, with all possible forcefulness, to conquer your nervousness and timidity once and for all. These are not useful qualities in a clergyman's wife, and you ought always to concentrate upon the useful, and your parish duties, as to be sure I always do.

Yours faithfully,

Augusta Elton

Mrs. Elton Sez is written/channeled by Austen-esque author Diana Birchall. Please join her once a week in August for her sage and sometimes sardonic voice, as she graciously condescends to advise on a variety of subjects.

Tuesday, July 29

Mrs. Elton Sez: Governess Presents Suspicious Request


Dear Mrs. Elton,

Although we have never met, your reputation for dispensing advice to everyone and anyone regardless of their background or station has spread far and wide. I wonder if I may prevail upon you to aid me in helping a young girl named Jenny.

I am the governess at Houghton House. This letter is not about me, however, as I have known since I was orphaned at fifteen that this employment would be the most practical solution for a woman in my situation. As you know, governesses occupy a unique niche in a household: we are neither servant nor family. I am not complaining, for my employers are generous and often ask me to make up a fourth at bridge or other card game. I am a realist, and have come to terms with the knowledge that I will probably never marry or have children. This brings me to Jenny, who at fifteen reminds me of my orphaned self. As you know, scullery maids lead a harsh existence. Jenny is up at the crack of dawn drawing water, emptying chamber pots, and bringing coal up to the rooms. I suspect she is one of the last servants to go to bed, as she is at the beck and call of all the other house servants.

These past two years, Jenny has arisen a half hour early to come to my rooms. During our stolen moments together I have taught her the alphabet, how to sign her name, and the rudiments of becoming a lady's maid. I have allowed Jenny to practice dressing my hair and lay out my wardrobe, such as it is, and taught her all the duties that would be expected of her in this position.

Jenny is now considered too old to remain as scullery, and I overheard my mistress saying she would be moved to the laundry room. In this post Jenny would be expected to work with lye soaps and other strong solutions that cause her delicate skin to swell in huge red welts. Jenny is too delicate for such work and I fear for her health.

Would you be willing to help me find a position for Jenny as a lady's maid? I thank you most humbly ahead of time.

Your obedient servant,

Miss Eleanor Pritchett



Mrs. Elton's Reply

Dear Miss Pritchett,

It is quite a surprise, and not entirely a pleasant one, that my reputation for dispensing advice has spread so far and wide. Me, an advisor general! I do not pretend to any thing of the sort; indeed, no one can be more an advocate for minding my own business than I am. I would not for the world offer my opinion in a forward way, as that would be unsuited to the rectitude and propriety of my position as a vicar's wife; still, there is the matter of doing one's duty, and as the helpmeet and partner of my dear caro sposo Mr. Elton, I am often obliged to venture into the affairs of people in whom I would otherwise have no interest whatsoever. I hope I never shirk my duty, but that the repute of my talents in this line should have spread to the servants' hall, is certainly something remarkable, in fact, quite wonderful.

I must, however, confess that I have certain suspicions, that must be communicated without delay. You claim to be Miss Pritchett, the governess of Houghton House; but, my dear madam, every one knows that Houghton House is the merest ruin. Did not the Duke of Bedford strip the house and remove the roof, so recently as 1794, after his father was killed whilst out riding? The story was in all the newspapers at the time, and I remember very well when the Duke died in '02, reading that Houghton House was a ruin, quite a ruin. It is said to be utterly uninhabited, except perhaps by...ghosts. I only write what all the world knows.

The practicality and domestic concerns of your letter do not accord well with the fanciful world of ghosts, and your stated aim of procuring a position for a young scullery maid is not the stuff of horrid tales. You will acknowledge, however, that the name of Houghton House is not the very best reference for a young servant's character. As that is the case, I regret to state that, without farther testimonial, I cannot be of service in recommending your Jenny to a place. It is a pity, for I know several ladies on the watch for a lady's maid; but they would all demand more solid testimonials than you seem able to produce. One cannot employ a servant whose domicile is the merest fiction, as you can plainly comprehend.

Faithfully yours,

Mrs. Elton

Mrs. Elton Sez is written/channeled by Austen-esque author Diana Birchall. Please join her on Tuesdays and Fridays for her sage and sometimes sardonic voice, as she graciously condescends to advise on a variety of subjects.

Tuesday, July 22

Mrs. Elton Sez: Scatterbrained Scheme Solicits Blackmail


Dear Mrs. Elton,

Modesty and shame prevent me from revealing my real name in seeking your advice, though I will tell you that I am seventeen years old and have been out for nearly twelve months.

I have participated in a deed that, if I were to be discovered, will brand me a fallen woman and shame my family for all eternity. Two nights ago, and several hours before the break of dawn, I eloped with my beloved Crispin. My Papa detests him, calling him a coxcomb and a ne’er-do-well fortune hunter, but I think my Crispin is the handsomest man in all of England. Like a hero of old, he helped me down the oak tree near my window and into his new curricle. We made great speed until the wheels became hopelessly mired in mud. Dark clouds had masked the full moon, which we had counted on to guide us. Crispin, alas, made a wrong turn off the main road. We had not even gone as far as eight miles! Thus, we had no choice but to turn back on one of the horses, for we were much too close to home. Oh, how deliciously wicked I felt sitting bareback behind Crispin and clinging to his manly waist as he guided his horse, but that is neither her nor there, for I am straying from my tale of woe. We arrived at my front door just as day was breaking. Crispin and I were ever so careful not to be seen and I believed that I had slipped into my bedroom unnoticed, for the servants were just rising.

Alas and alack I was wrong. A footman had witnessed my stealthy entry. Unless I pay him £500 he threatens to expose us to my parents! Oh, Mrs. Elton, has any girl ever been more unfortunate than I? I could sell my pearls, I suppose, but would such a sacrifice silence that awful man? What would prevent this blackmailer from asking for more money? If my Papa were to find out, he will ban me from ever seeing Crispin again, Indeed, Papa’s temper is legendary and I fear he will place me in some horrid Irish Catholic convent! Oh, Mrs. Elton, I have no time to lose. Please be speedy with your advice and tell me what to do. Sell my pearls, or do nothing and risk losing the love of my life?

Most desperately and sincerely yours,

Caught and fearful of the consequences


Mrs. Elton's Reply

Dear Nameless Sinner,

You wicked, wicked girl. Imagine one with the face, the effrontery, the abominable lack of shame, to address such a letter as that to a respectable lady, and a vicar's wife, what is more! Heaven above! I never thought I should see such an object as your letter. It is positively polluting the pure and wholesome atmosphere of my caro sposo's vicarage - you may be very sure I shall burn the thing at once, lest any one see it, and associate my name with such scandalous doings.

A girl who would sell her pearls! I never heard of such a proceeding. Young lady, do you not know that girls of family and reputation, do not - sell - their jewels, particularly not pearls that have doubtless been given them by their dearest father and mother? If you sell your pearls, you will put yourself outside the pale, quite apart from society, and no decent person can ever admit you into polite company again. You will have to go live in a cottage with an attendant and no wax candles, and who is to support you, when you are in such a situation, I cannot think.

Quite plainly, you are a very sad, sad girl. Only a sad, scatterbrained creature would conceive of such a foolish scheme. From this I can infer that you was not very well educated. I pass over the episode with Mr. Crispin, because I am very sure it is all a story; your phrase, "Dark clouds masked the full moon," gives it all away. Young lady, I have seen your sort before. Girls of seventeen who are given to scribbling fiction (and your reluctance to give your real name is also a clue), are doing very great harm to themselves. My advice to you I will certainly give: Hereafter, read more, and write less. A course of improving books is what you need. Allow me to recommend Samuel Johnson in particular. That is not so dull as reading sermons or homilies, but much, very much, ought you to learn from that great and good man. But pray put up your pen, that runs away with you! Such fancies are dangerous. You can see for yourself the courses into which they tend to lead your imagination - the idea, the very idea of selling your pearls! For how can you ever hope to make a show in the world as a married woman (if ever you are fortunate enough to receive a good offer, from a more substantial sort of gentleman than your fictionary Crispin - what a name - do you honestly expect me to believe in his existence?), without a decent set of family pearls?

On the very slight chance (I do not seriously consider it, and will dismiss it from my mind instantly, and I hope you will follow my example) that there is any grain of truth to the story, immediately go to your father and mother and tell them that this footman has made advances to you, and must be dismissed at once without a character. If he rants and storms about Crispin, calmly point out that such a fairy tale is not likely, as you were sitting at home on the night in question reading Samuel Johnson.

Your sincere friend and well wisher,

Mrs. Elton

Mrs. Elton Sez is written/channeled by Austen-esque author Diana Birchall. Please join her on Tuesdays and Fridays for her sage and sometimes sardonic voice, as she graciously condescends to advise on a variety of subjects.

Friday, July 18

Mrs. Elton Sez: Besotted Miss Bereaved Over Banished Beau


Dear Mrs. Elton,

I am quite beside myself with grief. I am truly in mourning. I am forbidden to ever see my dear darling amour Wilkinson ever again! Mamma and Papa have separated us, - sending him to some far distant shore or thereabouts - away to our cousin’s estate in the south in Cornwall. The end of the earth to be sure. Why oh why? They are cruel and unyielding even though I plead his case. Mamma is the worst. She does not understand my need of him, or our carefree and pleasurable time together galloping across the meadows and hills of our estate. Papa says he is an unmanageable rogue and should be shot immediately! Heavens, all because he threw me over at the sight of that odious Caroline Bartley in her red shawl. Insufferable flirt. She acted all coy and apologized, but she knew exactly what she was doing. She has spoiled everything for me, and my parents are unsympathetic. Oh misery, you are a cruel master indeed.

Mrs. Elton, pray advise me. Should I run away and travel to the ends of the earth to be with my love in Cornwall, or should I take my father’s advice and find a new mount from our stables?

Most Sincerely and Truly Yours,

Miss Prudence Puckler




Mrs. Elton's Reply

To Miss Prudence Puckler:

I am afraid I do not quite take your meaning, in your most extraordinary letter. Is this Wilkinson of whom you speak, a horse, a gentleman, or a servant? You speak of him as your amour, which, whatever he may be, is most shocking. A horse ought not to be called an amour, even by a young lady in the most tiresome stage of horse-loving, unless you mean to be confused with the Empress Catherine of Russia, of whom many things were said; but I will not repeat them in the interests of delicacy.

No lady who is a lady could call any gentleman to whom she was not actually engaged, her amour; I refuse to believe such a thing of you, as I have heard of no engagement. Finally, it is quite unthinkable that you should speak of a servant in such extravagant terms, for in such a case you would deserve the utter contempt of society. I collect, therefore, that you do mean your horse, however indelicately you have expressed yourself in the matter. As you are a young lady given to such odious expressions, I am all the more surprised at your father, being willing to allow you to take another mount from his stables. In my opinion, all horse-riding by you ought to be curtailed for at least a twelvemonth, and you be confined to the school-room with your governess who will practice strict use of the backboard and the globes. Perhaps, at the end of another year, you will have learnt to express yourself less violently and be all the readier to "come out" - though not, one hopes, upon a horse.

Faithfully yours,

Mrs. Elton

Mrs. Elton Sez is written/channeled by Austen-esque author Diana Birchall. Please join her on Tuesdays and Fridays for her sage and sometimes sardonic voice, as she graciously condescends to advise on a variety of subjects.

Friday, June 20

Austen Actors Highlight New Masterpiece Mystery Season

Reserve your summer Sunday evenings for the newly redesigned Masterpiece Mystery hosted by none other than Mr. Elton (Alan Cumming) as master of ceremonies introducing each of the four new series starting on June 22 and continuing through September 28.

Fans of Masterpiece Classic and The Complete Jane Austen series on PBS will recognize several familiar faces throughout the Mystery season. The new host of the series is Tony Award winning British actor Alan Cumming, who stared as Mr. Elton in the 1996 adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel Emma, directed by Douglas McGrath and co-staring Gwyneth Paltrow as Emma Woodhouse. It will be interesting to see what direction he takes hosting each of the series in comparison to his predecessors Gene Shalit 1980, Vincent Price 1981-1989, and Diana Rigg 1990 -2003. The series began airing without a host in the 2004 season, so this return to its original hosted format is a traditional move by executive producer Rebecca Eaton.

Alan Cumming as Mr. Elton and Juliet Stevenson as Mrs. Elton in Emma (1996)

This season’s Mystery lineup includes The Men of Mystery beginning on June 22 with three episodes each of the return of Inspector Lewis and Foyle’s War starting on July 13, and six episodes of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries on August 10. The series concludes with a reprieve of two episodes of Sally Lockhart staring Billie Piper (Fanny Price in Mansfield Park 2007) and JJ Feild (Henry Tilney in Northanger Abbey 2007).

Laurence Fox as DS James Hathaway and Kevin Whatley as DI Robbie Lewis in Inspector Lewis

Inspector Lewis opens the season on Sunday June 22 with three new episodes staring Kevin Whatley (The English Patient) who returns as Detective Inspector Robbie Lewis in this spin-off to the popular Inspector Morris series. Also returning is his younger sidekick, the cool, cerebral Detective Sergeant James Hathaway played by Austen actor Laurence Fox. Janeites will remember his performance as Jane Austen’s (Ann Hathaway) unsuccessful suitor Mr. Wilsey in last summers movie Becoming Jane, whose amorous pursuits had him in more than one embarrassing situation and uttering such great lines as “Sometimes affection is a shy flower that takes time to blossom.”

Ann Hathaway as Jane Austen and Laurence Fox as Mr. Wisley in Becoming Jane (2007)

Mr. Fox comes from an accomplished acting family. He is the son of British actor James Fox, nephew to actors Edward Fox, Joann David (Mrs. Gardiner in Pride and Prejudice 1995 and Elinor Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility 1971) and producer Robert Fox, and cousin to fellow Austen actor Emilia Fox (Georgiana Darcy in Pride and Prejudice 1995). He married British actress Billie Piper (Fanny Price in Mansfield Park 2007) on New Years Eve in 2007. If he had anymore Austen connections, he would have to be related!!!

Laurence Fox and his wife Billie Piper

The Inspector Lewis series includes three episodes and features additional actors that share Jane Austen connections; 1.) Whom the Gods Would Destroy – June 22, Anna Madeley (Lucy Steele in Sensibility 2007), and Anna Massey (Aunt Norris in Mansfield Park 1983); 2.) Old School Friends – June 29, David Glover (Foot the butler in Sense and Sensibility 2008); and 3.) Expiation - July 6, Lucy Robinson (Louisa Hurst in Pride and Prejudice 1995, Mrs. Elton in Emma 1996 and Janey in Bridget Jones the Edge of Reason 2004), Julia Joyce (Young Fanny Price in Mansfield Park 2007), Pip Torrens (Edward Austen-Knight in Miss Austen Regrets 2008 and a Netherfield butler in Pride and Prejudice 2005), and Phoebe Nicholls (Elizabeth Elliot in Persuasion 1995).

Anna Massey as Aunt Norris in Mansfield Park (1983)

I have always enjoyed the Masterpiece Mystery series, and am glad to see so many Austen actors finding work with such a venerable series. I hope that you enjoy the opening episode!

Posted by Laurel Ann, Austenprose

Friday, May 23

Mr. Elton to Host Masterpiece Mystery Series on PBS!

What a pleasant surprise! Mr. Elton (Alan Cumming), the Reverend of Highbury in the movie version of Jane Austen's novel Emma has taken a second job hosting the newly redecorated PBS series Mystery. One wonders what Mrs. Elton thinks of her caro sposa’s scheme, and are concerned who will carry her parasol and find her gloves in his absence!



You can read the announcement of Tony Award winning actor Alan Cumming as the new host of Masterpiece Mystery on their web site. Be sure to check out the three videos; Backstage with host Alan, Alan on public broadcasting, and Alan on acting for a unique perspective from a talented Scotsman, who has had a very eclectic career.

Good luck Mr. Elton with your new job. Please be sure to duck when you break the news to the wife!

Posted by Laurel Ann, Austenprose

Saturday, May 10

Cranford Episode Two: Mrs. Elton Sez...

Gentle readers … Cranford continues … And so does the contest …

I am totally charmed by the Masterpiece Classic presentation of Cranford which began last Sunday. Episode two continues again tonight May 11th on PBS at 9:00pm, and concludes next Sunday May 18th. Three weeks living the simple life with the company of the ladies and gentlemen of Cranford, ahhh… such a respite indeed. You can review the cast of characters here.

We are honored once again by a review by Mrs. Elton, that pretentious matron of Highbury society who invaded Emma Woodhouse’s world and her patience; brought to us by that obliging Diana Birchall. Even though we always enjoy Mrs. Elton's forthright opinions, which she gives so freely as she continues her views on the mini-series Cranford, they are a bit like watching a train wreck. You should look away, - but are compelled to observe!

You can catch the first installment of her three part Cranford contributions here to catch up if need be, and read her previous review of Emma during The Complete Jane Austen series last March on Austenprose. Check out Diana Birchall’s recently released book, Mrs. Darcy’s Dilemma if you want to read a clever bit of writing to complement Jane Austen’s novel Pride and Prejudice.

Diana Birchall’s introduction …
I’ve just returned from a family visit to New York, which is in many ways the exact opposite of Cranford. Cranford is small, while New York is, well, not. Cranford is only struggling into the industrial age and is appalled at the very idea of trains; New York embraces trains, planes, and enough machines to make an all-night clangor that Cranford could scarcely conceive. I suppose the whole of Cranford would fit handily into a single apartment building, but think what would be lost – the visiting, the social round, the sharing of troubles, the excitement over little bits of news. In New York people hardly know who their next door neighbors are. Cranfordian news items would fall far below the radar and even the most bizarre phenomena of Cranford would barely cause a stir: if you saw a cow in pajamas on Forty-second Street you would think it was only a publicity stunt and would simply walk around it. Wouldn’t you?

I walked in Central Park which was in full flower with magnolias, cherry blossoms, bluebells and tulips. Would the Cranford ladies have approved of that? No, I think they would be stunned by the colorful crowds, the cross town buses, the skyscrapers, visible even in the park; and only in the heart of the Ramble might they imagine themselves, for a moment, at home. If you’d like to read about my trip and see my pictures, they’re on my blog: lightbrightand sparkling.

But lo! What light from yonder window breaks? It is a movie camera, and Mrs. Elton is the star. My head begins to pain me...she is waving and gesticulating wildly, demanding to be heard...

And now, a few insights from Mrs. Elton …

Well, really, if I must say something, I should be allowed to tell you that I have seen more of Cranford, and I cannot approve of it at all. It grows vulgarer and vulgarer, and where it shall end, Heaven only knows. Only compare the place to Highbury, the charming village to which I was transplanted, so many years ago, and you will understand. First, it is an indisputed fact that Cranford is in the north, quite far north, indeed so close to Manchester as to be hardly genteel. Highbury, and Highbury alone, is in the most elegant situation that could possibly be. That is – Maple Grove to be sure is in a better one, but Highbury is still much more the thing than Cranford.

And only think: nearly every one who lives in Cranford is a single woman! Now, that is very sad; I am sure I should have been ashamed of being always a spinster, but if such a calamity had befallen Jane or me - dear Jane Fairfax, now Mrs. Churchill of Enscombe, which to be sure is in Yorkshire, but that is a very different part of the north, and not to be confused with the want of gentility of such a place as Manchester. Jane tells me that Yorkshire is very genteel indeed, she quite raves about the place, where no vulgarity is allowed. But what was I saying? Oh yes, only that if my dear caro sposo had not made me an offer, and I had remained unwed, (though to be sure I was in no wise wanting for offers), I should never have conducted myself as those ladies of Cranford do. Running through the streets, shouting about matters that had better be kept quiet, old ladies in ruffles, like mutton dressed as lamb; and then, in private, practicing such vulgar economy! Really, it is too bad to have a whole town full of old ladies, and then to show them as being so silly. It does them an injury. I was going to say that the very superior Jane Austen would never create or countenance such a thing, but I have just remembered that she did create Miss Bates, which seems very surprising of her. For what is Cranford but a town absolutely full of Miss Bateses? Now, that is my idea of a very sad place.

And Cranford is sad, do you not agree? Do not we all? The pitiful makeshifts of the people to live – only one burned-down candle in some of those rickety houses, if you will believe me, and the clothes – well! They say it is 1842, but I am sure I was wearing such bonnets and pelisses in Highbury as long ago as 1815. Very pitiful doings, upon my word.

But now I see that I am to be taken up, and given a new hat: Mrs. Birchall has explained to me that I am to become a movie critic. I am not quite certain exactly what she means by it, but I should hope that with my resources, I ought to be able to give my opinion decidedly, which is all that I think is meant. Yes, I see how it is, I shall never have a disengaged moment! It is quite tiresome to be so popular, when my natural inclination is all for quiet. As there is positively no escape, however, I will proceed to tell you what I think of this odd – very odd – stereopticon showing of Cranford, without feigning an approval which I do not feel.

Well! For one thing, I do believe there are too many people in Cranford. Miss Jane Austen always said that three or four families in a country village was the very number to be working with, and I assure you Cranford has a great many more than that. Indeed, there are whole families coming in from other books, and really this does not do. Why, there are screaming poaching boys running all over Cranford, and my Lady Ludlow is set down in a vastly grand mansion – bigger even than Maple Grove, which is the perfect size for taste (I never could bear with ostentation) - right within the village of Cranford itself, which is perfectly monstrous. And then my lady, wandering about in costume of the late 1780s at latest, has she been conjured up by one of those time travel machines invented by Mr. Jules Verne, early in the new century? It is odd, very odd indeed.

But many other things meet with my dislike. You must know they do. I cannot approve of so many people dying continually; I am sure Highbury is a far healthier spot than Cranford, for Cranford is a veritable charnel-house. Our Miss Bates lived to a very old age, you know, and Mr. Woodhouse did the same; and every one was so well in Highbury that good Dr. Perry had very little to do. But Cranford, now! Mercy! I should be quite afraid to go there, such a dying place as it is. Poor Cousin Deborah, falling down dead like that; and then not even being accorded the proper respect. Far more time was devoted to the death of that wretched child - what was his name?

It is all Victorian Sentimentality, I call it, which is a very nasty business indeed. And whatever you may say of these moderns, they do not deal with Victorian Sentimentality at all well. They are so coarsened in the twenty-first century, that they have no idea of the tender emotions, and act them very awkwardly. I am sure Miss Jane Austen would not have liked it. She had a very good taste. She wrote whole books about the odiousness of Sentimentality - of course, she called it Sensibility, which is a far better word. But she would never have permitted her characters to indulge in such fits of lugubrious weeping as they do in Cranford; I declare I hardly knew where to look. I have heard people say that it is all very touching, and moving, and all that, but I should be ashamed. You never see me crying in public, or indeed in any other place.

Perhaps it is this over-sensibility that produces the decided longeurs that are invading the endless vignettes of this second episode of the stereopticon. It does not seem like Cranford to me. If you are acquainted with the people of Cranford, if you have read Mrs. Gaskell's excellent tale, you will know that there ought not to be a boy learning to read, or a young doctor, in it at all; and you would be sadly bewildered. And if you did not know Cranford, then I should think you would find it difficult to tell who everyone is. And the acting - to be sure, I like a play as well as any one; and there is some here that is very fine, as fine as any thing we saw on the London stage, when Mrs. Siddons was en fleur. Miss Judi Dench and Miss Eileen Atkins, are incomparable. But - how can I explain my meaning, in words you will understand? Let me consult Mrs. Birchall, my cicerone in this odd world - well, she assures me that the word I want is uneven. For I do think that the little blonde girl weeping over her brother and making cow's eyes at the doctor, is as odious an Actress as I ever saw in my life; and that clever boy with the trembling lip is not much better. I have always thought that children should be seen, and not heard, and I am sure Miss Jane Austen thinks so.

And what do these stereopticon makers have against the Irish, calumniating them as they do? I am sure that the Irish people I know are as elegant as any one. Did not Miss Fairfax's great friend Miss Campbell go to live in Ireland, when she married Mr. Dixon? She cannot say enough good about the country. And I particularly remember, long ago, in that pic-nic on Box Hill, there was an Irish car party, very civil behaved. So I can't understand it.

Well, well, next week we will discover how it all turns out. But I am sure there will be much weeping and sensibility and being satiric at the expense of poor old ladies; and I shall not like it at all.

Very Sincerely Yours,

Augusta Elton

CONTEST: Thank you very much Mrs. Elton, ahem, we would like to remind our gentle readers to enter our contest for a free copy of Mrs. Darcy’s Dilemma by contributing a comment between May 4th and May 18th. A name will be drawn from the comments, and a new copy mailed to the lucky winner. You can also check out Ms. Birchall's book Mrs. Elton in America to follow her exploits in another continent. Good luck to one and all.

Posted by Laurel Ann, Austenprose & Ms. Place, Jane Austen's World


Saturday, May 3

Cranford Episode One: Mrs. Elton Sez...

Gentle Readers… Cranford arrives... and a contest begins!

Cranford, episode one, the PBS mini-series of Elizabeth Gaskell’s novel premiers tonight on PBS at 9:00 pm. It received rave reviews when in aired last fall in the UK, so we are quite excited to meet Misses Matty (Judi Dench) and Deborah (Eileen Atkins) and the other ladies of the charming English
village of Cranford. The delight will be the pleasure of their company for the next three Sundays (May 4th, 11th and 18th), and to have the distinct honor of author Diana Birchall’s contribution as she channels Jane Austen’s infamous gad-about and all around busy-body Mrs. Elton from the novel Emma. Readers will remember Mrs. Elton’s recent visit when she reviewed the PBS airing of the adaptation of Emma last March on Austenprose, and her hilarious book, Mrs. Elton in America

Diana Birchall’s introduction…

Oh, my poor head. It is that infernal Mrs. Elton trying to get out again. It's like having a woodpecker rapping on your skull from the inside. Why can't I be the medium of channeling one of Jane Austen's nicer characters? Lizzy, say, or Anne, or my dear Mr. Tilney. But no. To have this woman's caw sounding in my ears is no pleasure, I can tell you. Still, it might be worse; I might be afflicted with Mr. Collins.

I saw the first hour of the new Cranford at a screening the other evening, and sure enough, I was awakened that very night by that inimitable indignant voice. Mrs. Elton, resident still of Highbury, demands to tell the world what she thinks of Cranford. I had better let her do so, or the woman will drive me mad. Some might say she has done so already. Well, here's Augusta Herself, I wish you joy of her.

Mrs Elton has her say…

Good heaven! It is a fine thing to be back at home in Highbury again. You would not think, that at our age, Mr. E and I would fly about so much as we do, but I assure you it is so. We have been to Cranford, which you must know is in the very vicinity of Manchester, and that is almost as dire-sounding a place as Birmingham.

It is very far to go for an exploring-party, but we cannot always be visiting Selina, and places about Bristol; and so we went to the Peak, on a party of pleasure, which was very delightful. On our journey home however our carriage broke down, and it was fortunate that I realized we were within half a dozen miles of Cranford, where Mr. E has some connections; and I told him to send the man to my Lady Ludlow forthwith, and beg her for some assistance.

That is, we have only seen my Lady Ludlow the once, at her great barracks of a place, when last we were visiting Cranford, some five and twenty years ago, but we have heard of her for ever in letters from Miss Matty and Miss Deborah. They are some sort of cousins to my dear Mr. E, though really we see them very seldom, for they are not quite the style of people we would care to have visit us in Highbury, though very good sort of folk I have no doubt.

It was growing rather late, and rather dark, and so we were glad when the man returned at last with some sort of – conveyance, I suppose it must be called, that I believe the people of Cranford hire about among themselves; I should have been ashamed to have been seen in such a horrid old coach, only for the extreme exigency. As we drove into Cranford, it was still light enough to see; and then I remembered what a squalid little place it always was, and still is. Indeed, I would not have believed it; it has not changed one iota this quarter of a century, and is positively primitive, not to say vulgar. But that is an epithet that belongs more to the people than the buildings.

It was, however, perfectly indispensible, in these circumstances, that we visit poor Miss Matty and Miss Deborah; and there they sat in their sad little house, lit by only two candles, and those not even made out of wax. Only think! When I was first married, in 1815 as was (though I have heard that some people do believe that the events of Emma occurred in 1808; they may talk about "internal evidence" all they like, but I assure you that is quite a wrong notion), we had wax-candles in every room of the vicarage. It was quite a paradise of light! Nowadays, of course, we use the most up-to-date methods, and have gas-lamps throughout; but I do not believe they have a single gas-lamp in Cranford to this day, in the year of our Lord and our good Queen, 1851: Was there ever such a village!

And Miss Matty and Miss Deborah – I never was so shocked in my life. I remembered them to have been, never pretty girls, but Matty was rather sweet, and Deborah rather handsome; and now they are hideous, quite hideous. Thank heaven! I have preserved better than they; but then, married women you know, have comforts, which single women have not, and it was perfectly plain to see that spinsterhood has taken its toll on these sweet sisters.

I did wish my Lady Ludlow would have been to home, as her dwelling would have been so much more suitable for us in every way, for even such a temporary sojourn; it is larger even, I believe, than Maple Grove. However, great people have their whims, and she might not remember us, or as seems likelier, even be dead. Mrs. Gaskell's story My Lady Ludlow was written in 1857, you know, much after Cranford, and it tells about times past, when the lady was already quite an old woman, so I do not know what she is doing in that modern stereopticon story; but I will not cavil now. Well, well, there was nothing to do but to make ourselves content where we were, as I am sure I have always a great talent for doing, even in the very heart of Cranford. Mr. Elton was uncomfortable enough, as it was perfectly plain that the ladies did not at all care to have a man in the house, but however they disliked his sex, he is a relation, and they could hardly turn him out so late at night.

To return to this stereopticon affair. It is a great invention, to be sure, a new kind of photography, I collect, that permits pictures to positively move, in a most uncanny fashion; and the photographers quite rightly have taken all of Miss Jane Austen’s books and done full justice to them before making any attempts upon the works of Mrs. Gaskell, who is much inferior, as I can say without any prejudice at all. It is quite a miracle, to be sure; yet it is also positively amazing how many mistakes have been made in the course of this prodigious entertainment. For one, it said that the events in Cranford transpired in 1840, which every body knows not to be true; and for another, it has a most mysterious propensity for placing people from other – worlds, I was going to say, but perhaps more properly books, all together in a miserable confusion. Just as ranks and circles, lines and spheres, ought not to be confounded, people from one place and class ought not to be mixed. Lady Ludlow is only one example. It is quite wrong. Can you imagine what would happen if people created by Miss Jane Austen, say, were to meet with those who were the invention of Mrs. Gaskell? Heaven above! If would be bad enough if Mr. Darcy were to sit on the same Magistrates court with Mr. Knightley, or if Emma Woodhouse and Fanny Price were to be bosom friends. No, no, such half and half doings can never prosper, I assure you.

You may then ask, what am I, Mrs. Elton, who flourished in Highbury in 1815, doing in Cranford at the middle of the century? That is easy to answer. Although Miss Jane Austen did not survive, I have, and at this time am barely fifty, or at least not much more than sixty, and quite as vigorous and fresh as a woman half my age, I do assure you. Mr. E keeps well too, and now that our children are grown and all in their different places (our oldest, Philip Augustus, has gone to America and is a Congressman, you know, and a very great defender of the Indians), we have recaptured all our early passion for exploring. You must not think us the sort of provincial folk who never stir from their park, like Mrs. Knightley, or indeed, these poor good Jenkyns sisters.

I will have a great deal to say about my visit to Cranford, in ensuing visits, and not all of it complimentary, you may depend upon that; but you only hear truth from me. I never compliment, as every one knows. I have already told you how I was first struck with the appearance of poor Miss Matty and Miss Deborah; so that I was quite ashamed to be seen beside them, as even my second-best traveling gown was made of silk, and I had a very fine pelisse with sable upon it, which I saw them noticing, poor things. They tried to look disapproving, with meaningful looks, but I could not be taken in; what could they have felt but envy? I am sure they do not see such a dress from one year to the next; their own gowns were positively rusty.

And the food that was spread upon the table, my dear! It was so scanty, that I honestly was afraid they were starving themselves to give us tea; I would send them some vegetables from the vicarage garden if only it was not such a very great distance away. There were so many signs of their poverty altogether, I was quite uncomfortable. Not only did they speak incessantly of “elegant economy,” but I can swear I heard the words “Cheshire is cheaper.” Exactly so! as my caro sposo would say. I really think I need say no more of these people’s gentility. There was not even a scrap of ice upon the table; I remember making quite a fuss about ice in the card-parties at Highbury when I was first transplanted there as a bride, but more than thirty years later, these poor people have nothing but the pitifulest old ice house across the village square, shared in common with every body else in the place – more of your leveling notions. It is all of a piece with the gas-lamps.

The ladies of Cranford do have some notions of decorum and gentility, I grant, though they are so very countrified and live such a retired life as to be quite out of the fashionable world. I do believe that the vulgarity shown in that regrettable stereopticon play can be laid almost entirely at the door, not of the ladies or even poor Mrs. Gaskell, but of the photographer himself. I am sure he was not a gentleman, for he insisted upon us watching a medical operation (Mr. E would never allow me to see such a thing). There was also such a vile business made about the cat and the boot; and to think of having Miss Matty say that a cow is quite a daughter to her!

Surely, to speak of the barnyard is the province of farmers, not gentlewomen. I was never in any party where ladies spoke in such a way. Those who say that the Victorian age is a more prudish one than what preceded it are quite mistaken. Miss Jane Austen does not even once mention a cat in a single one of her books; and I am sorry to be forced to the conclusion that Mrs. Gaskell is the vulgarest of the two. And I am a judge. I always had a natural inclination in that way even as a young woman, and now, as I am quite the first lady in society in Highbury (except, perhaps, for Mrs. Knightley, whose adherents are perfectly deluded), I am abundantly qualified for the office of pointing out the deficiencies of Cranford.

Quite another matter from the elegancies of life in either Cranford or Highbury, is this stereopticon play. It will be natural for me to give my strictures and opinions on these proceedings as they are unfolded, as I have now endured a – Skreening, they call it, of the first part of the business. The occasion, I must confess, opened with some éclat. I was invited – for who could think of leaving me out – to a little party that was held in late April in a ballroom, a very large ballroom indeed. This ballroom, or perhaps stadium, quite resembled Astley’s, I thought, though without the horses, and was in a very fine modern building called the Directors Guild, in the Far Western American city of Los Angeles. A Picture-Palace, I am told such places used to be called. The people who came (and very oddly they were dressed, too; the ladies nearly all in breeches, and with their hair so short, so oddly coloured, my dear! How you would have stared).

We were given quite elegant viands, prawns, and potato-pancakes, and Italian meats – most elegant, and the place was lighted up so brilliantly, it must have cost a vast sum in gas-lamps. Well: they showed a part of this Cranford play, up on an immensely large wall hanging, and the audience liked it vastly, they made very little attempt to conceal their rather indecorous laughter, at the Cranford people’s quaint doings, which I thought quite rude. I do not believe I have ever seen so many people all together in my entire life, but most remarkable was what happened at the end. Chairs were placed upon the stage, and who should walk out and sit in them but the very actresses we had seen on the Skreen but moments ago! They seated themselves, and spoke with great condescension and cordiality, for full an hour; and the audience were very cordial to them in return, though to be sure, they acted very well, only too well, so that it made one about what their reputations could be.

I do not know exactly, but I suspect a great deal. Jane Tranter, head of BBC Fiction, spoke, and the Director, Simon Curtis, and the Writers and Creators, Heidi Thomas, Sue Birtwistle and Susie Conklin (such outlandish names!) were also present; but one person was not, and that is Mrs. Gaskell, which is perhaps not to be lamented, as I do not know if she could have borne to hear her name bandied about publicly in this immodest and vulgar fashion. It did very well in this Far Western setting however, which was vulgarity personified. I was much diverted to see how much younger the actresses looked in their strange costumes – the ordinary clothes they had worn in the play were modester, but it must be admitted, made them appear much older. Miss Eileen Atkins in particular, was quite animated and youthfully pretty, though she had been quite dour and pinched as Miss Deborah; and Miss Imelda Staunton was jocular, while Miss Judi Dench seemed very familiar with Miss Atkins, as they spoke of being acting together as sisters for the first time fifty years ago, in 1958, which made me laugh as of course that is a good hundred years in my future.

One thing I was surprised to hear Miss Deborah say, was, that a woman is not the equal of a man, but always his superior. That is a more dangerously revolutionary view than I can readily comprehend, having always shown my conjugal obedience to my dear Mr. E; but I always stand up for women myself, and Cranford is a society of women – Amazons, Mrs. Gaskell calls them. But I am sure she is being ironic. I dote upon irony, but I would not trade my position as a married woman, for any thing.

Oh! What a nuisance. Mrs. Diana Birchall wishes to get some rest. I suppose I shall have to be shut up again in her ridiculous head, but I trust she will allow me to deliver my opinions of farther episodes of this peculiar stereoptican that is portraying Cranford and its residents, in part, as it were, and through a glass darkly.

Yours very sincerely

Augusta Elton

CONTEST: Thank you very much Mrs. Elton. We look forward what you have to say about episode two of Cranford on Sunday next, May 11th. at 9:00 pm on Masterpiece Classic. We would love to read your opinion of Cranford, and if you leave a comment between May 4th and May 18th, your name will be entered in a drawing on May 19th for a free copy of Diana Birchall’s book Mrs. Darcy’s Dilemma. Good luck to one and all!

Posted by Laurel Ann, Austenprose & Ms. Place, Jane Austen’s World